I was recently made aware of the concept of emotional permanence. It involves believing in feelings that are concealed from view. This idea originated from the concept of object permanence, which asserts that objects exist whether or not they are visible. After reading the term, I realized I have emotional stability issues. I also concluded that the lack of a consistent sense of emotional permanence contributed significantly to anxiety.
What is emotional permanence?
As previously stated, emotional permanence is the ability to recognize other people’s emotions even when you cannot recognize your own. Having a partner is a great illustration of this. Do you comprehend and accept that your partner still loves you even when they are absent and unable to express it? Most people would respond, “Of course, I believe that.”
This is fantastic, but emotional ephemerality has a way of trapping people. You may begin to question whether your partner truly loves you, not necessarily because of his or her actions, but because of something in your mind. I believe that the majority of people have participated in this activity once or twice. Most of us desire assurance that our partner values us. The majority of us desire to hear repeatedly that we are loved. If someone tells you, “I love you,” it is unlikely that you will always feel this way. In this regard, we must all deal with emotional impermanence because people change, but this is likely healthy.
If You Have Problems With Emotional Tenacity
However, some individuals experience greater emotional turmoil than others. Some individuals do not believe their partners’ emotions when they cannot see them, just as infants do not comprehend that their parents exist when they cannot see them (object permanence is a learned skill, and it happens between the ages of four and eight months). This may be one of the important reasons why some individuals with mental disorders, such as borderline personality disorder, require so much reassurance. However, it is difficult for individuals with borderline personality disorder because they frequently experience real or imagined abandonment anxiety. Therefore, if you constantly rely on your partner for affection, reassurance, or confirmation of your love, you may be bothered by emotional permanence.
What Causes a Lack of Emotional Stability?
It is difficult to say because, as far as I am aware, this concept has not been the subject of extensive research. Nevertheless, I do have a theory. A situation in which a person’s emotions fluctuated so frequently that they could not be relied upon would appear to induce a sense of emotional impermanence. When a person’s words and actions frequently and obviously contradict one another, I believe this is comparable.
A “two-faced” person may foster an environment conducive to the development of emotional impermanence ideas. Or a controlling partner who repeatedly buys you flowers and declares his love while beating you (this is common in abuse cycles). I argue that exposure to one of these environments as a child would cause one to question the consistency of emotions.
I believe depression makes individuals question the intensity of their emotions. Feeling unloved is a common depressive symptom. Frequently, depression causes a person to believe that they have never been loved. Obviously, when your partner is standing in front of you and saying “I love you,” this can help you fend off the cruelty of depression, but when they’re not, the depression returns with a vengeance.
Persistent Emotions and Anxiety
And regrettably, if you struggle to control your emotions, anxiety may be your constant companion. For example, if you doubt that your partner loves you when you cannot see them, you will experience a great deal of anxiety. Imagine constantly questioning your partner’s love until you can see them and hear them say it again. Both parties find this extremely challenging. I can see how anxiety, which would breed a lack of emotional permanence, would breed a lack of emotional permanence comprehension. Unfortunately, it is a two-way street.
Increasing Comprehension of Emotional Stability
Both the concept of repairing it and the concept of emotional permanence are barely mentioned. I believe that communicating with your partner is the most important step. If you discuss this with your partner, he or she will have a better understanding of why you might come across as “needy.”
Open and honest communication should always be the norm, but I believe it is more important to identify the source of your problems and address them with emotional stability. Yes, it could be a symptom of a mental disorder such as major depressive disorder or borderline personality disorder, but it could also be a relic from your past. To resolve this, you must be extremely honest with yourself. A therapist might be able to help you determine the source of your distress.
Finally, I urge you to address your concern regarding emotional resilience. Use logic to overcome an irrational situation. Two days ago, your partner professed his love for you, but he has been away on business since then. Is it reasonable to assume that he has developed new feelings for you in just two days, given that he is no longer with you? No, certainly not. You are experiencing an irrational but authentic emotion. Utilize your intellect to defeat your brain in this situation. You should not assume something to be true based solely on your feelings. Your brain sends a signal when you feel unloved, not because your partner has stopped loving you. The signal is genuine. The sentiment is genuine. Despite what your brain is trying to tell you, the situation is not as it appears.
